On ice.

Hello friends!

As you may have guessed, I’m taking a sabbatical. I’m not going anywhere or doing anything different. I’m just taking off my writing and gardening and social media hat for a while. Getting off the ride. I’ll be writing what I want, when I want and I’ll be posting what I want, when I want, rather than working to a particular schedule. I’m probably going to crack out the hexagon quilt that I started when I was ten. This newsletter will go in the freezer for a little while (not too long I promise!) but you can always get in touch via here, or email, or instagram. I ALWAYS welcome your brilliant, kind, funny messages.

Revelations rarely come overnight. They seep into the consciousness slowly, nudging you like an insistent puppy, begging to be stroked, while you work furiously away at trying to ignore them. They rarely happen due to a single thing or event; instead, the build-up of evidence that one needs to make a change is granular and imperceptible, until one day you realise you rather need to get a wriggle on darling. There have been so many things, not least the weakness of my urge to share certain bits of my life (even sometimes my garden!) outside of this newsletter and the never-ending quest to be the best parent I can manage to be, oh, and the fact that gardening is just ONE of the loves of my life, amongst so many other joys and passions.

It all built up a bit, and the puppy at my elbow suddenly let out a yelp, demanding to be heard…it asked me; Why am I doing this and what on earth am I trying to prove? I don’t make a proper living from my job, that’s for sure. The immediate answer is ‘BECAUSE I ENJOY IT’ … that’s always been my answer. BUT let’s be clear here, it’s not just a one-way street. There is a tremendous amount of joy to be had from others’ reactions to it. I love the conversations that it sparks, and the fact that sometimes it inspires others to try something different, and most of all that it engenders EMPATHY … “I feel the same!” “I thought I was the only one!” “This makes me feel less alone!”… you get the gist. And yes there is also “I love the way you write!” … all these things validate me.

There is NOTHING wrong with validation. It drives most of what we do and think, and it’s an essential part of what makes us human; our brains are wired up to seek it within social groups, because being part of a group is a JOLLY good way to survive when you’re naked and hungry and could get jumped any moment by something with claws and teeth. …

That’s the simple reason why every ‘like’ creates a dopamine hit.

So I’m not making myself wrong here, I’m just shining a light on it, and regarding that part of my human, silly old brain, standing naked in the corner. See also: “Oh but I MUST keep on doing this because my children need to see that their mother has a REAL JOB!”. Nope. Shone a light on that one too.

So…. I’m hoping VERY much you’ll all stay in touch during this much-needed break!

All the good things, always

x Laetitia