When we moved house and downsized from a four bedroom to a two bed we got rid of a lot of stuff and it felt great. But now three years on the stuff is accumulating, the loft is full, we built a big shed - I’m only really free when we are travelling.
I can’t tell you how excited I was to see the title of this piece. For me, stuff is a big topic and I love to talk about it. I find it so fascinating because I am never satisfied when it comes to my stuff. I have read all of Marie Condo’s books and now discover she’s renounced a lot of her views since having kids! I act as though I’ll only be happy when I am stuff-free but then when I go to a stuff-y place I love it and its (often) attendant magic. I at once feel I have too little and too much and shuffle things about endlessly xx
This resonates so much, having just cleared out all my mum’s stuff (extra hard as she is still alive, in care suffering from dementia) and I’m trying really hard to let go of much of my own. Perhaps more urgent for me than you as I’m considerably older!
I have a foil too. We were joking the other day about the fact that I thought that at least 90% of the contents of the house are mine/bought by me (I think I'm the only person ever to have bought anything for the kitchen, or a cushion, or bedlinen etc. etc), and he put it closer to 95%.
I am definitely a "stuff" person but also like tidy uncluttered spaces so always feel a bit stressed about where I live. It is always most marked when I come back from a holiday cottage which is always much more minimalist.
So I desperately want to get rid of a lot of it though sadly a lot of it is work related. My neighbour, in her 80s, is doing just that, so that her executors (of which I am one), have less to do. Every so often she pulls me in to admire the latest drawers she has cleared out and organised, and she takes so much pleasure from it. I'm quite envious.
I am also deeply envious of your neighbour! I think they call this 'death cleaning' and I'm VERY into the idea. My Rotter has come to encapsulate our differences by saying "I don't like being comfortable, so I don't like your cushions". At which I go and buy more cushions. I often wonder whether we just lean in to others' caricatures of ourselves!
I use Strulch and love it. Agree that the slugs hate it. I’m a not much stuff person, I have to have a clear out when the anxiety builds too much. With a 91 year old very frail parent, I look on in despair as I don’t feel I’ll have the emotional resilience to deal with it. I suppose that’s where house clearance firms come in but I find that unbearably moving.
Agree. It's a problem of our age and I like you feel overwhelmed with the prospect of dealing with ALL of it (not just the physical stuff). It does make me think hard about drilling down into why I want new things, and whether I could make do with not!
Strulch every time. Cheaper than the Magic Mulch (though not as cheap as chips) as with an inherent slug deterrent which definitely helps. Looks pretty unattractive when you first spread it but turns earthy brown quite quickly.
I’m extremely attached to my stuff, but finding out about 5 years ago that my kids will not be giving me grandkids (🥺), has changed my perspective on the future of the things I own. There will not be an endless line of descendants to bestow my collections and mementos on. Sad, but also freeing.
Gosh I hadn't considered the idea of never being a grandparent. I suppose as parents we just assume, don't we. I'm sorry. I suppose if I find myself in your situation I would be eyeing up other people's grandchildren and showering them with gifts!
Strulch is definitely my go to mulch , I share a pallet of the large bags with a friend , I just top it up the second year. I’m starting one room at a time clear out this autumn/winter Noth sons left home and have left all their ‘stuff’ !! Oh hang onto mum I’ve not enough room for it …. X
I am very much a person of stuff. I love it and hate it in equal measure. I love the fact that when I get an idea to create something I can usually guarantee I have the required paint/tools/fabric... to complete the task. However, that does mean for a lot of the time I have all this "stuff" taking up space without good reason. It does worry me that I will have to start addressing all this stuff before to long.
Always get my mulch from Apsley Farms, partly because it is reasonably local, partly they sell it in those huge hippo type bags and also because it's very good.
I use Lakeland Gold by Dalesfoot, but probably because my local supplier of such things stocks it, and they deliver for free to my allotment as long as I meet them at the gate. It’s good mulch.
When we moved house and downsized from a four bedroom to a two bed we got rid of a lot of stuff and it felt great. But now three years on the stuff is accumulating, the loft is full, we built a big shed - I’m only really free when we are travelling.
I think if you are a stuff person, keeping it down to a manageable amount is a life’s work!
I can’t tell you how excited I was to see the title of this piece. For me, stuff is a big topic and I love to talk about it. I find it so fascinating because I am never satisfied when it comes to my stuff. I have read all of Marie Condo’s books and now discover she’s renounced a lot of her views since having kids! I act as though I’ll only be happy when I am stuff-free but then when I go to a stuff-y place I love it and its (often) attendant magic. I at once feel I have too little and too much and shuffle things about endlessly xx
Ps what is mulch again?
Yes and YES. Constant tension because I am both a maximalist and a minimalist. Where is the goldilocks place? WHERE? x
Mulch is when you put muck on the soil over the existing muck to seal in moisture and add nutrients x
This resonates so much, having just cleared out all my mum’s stuff (extra hard as she is still alive, in care suffering from dementia) and I’m trying really hard to let go of much of my own. Perhaps more urgent for me than you as I’m considerably older!
Gina, I’m so sorry. Dementia is the cruelest. Hugs.
Thank you 😘
I have a foil too. We were joking the other day about the fact that I thought that at least 90% of the contents of the house are mine/bought by me (I think I'm the only person ever to have bought anything for the kitchen, or a cushion, or bedlinen etc. etc), and he put it closer to 95%.
I am definitely a "stuff" person but also like tidy uncluttered spaces so always feel a bit stressed about where I live. It is always most marked when I come back from a holiday cottage which is always much more minimalist.
So I desperately want to get rid of a lot of it though sadly a lot of it is work related. My neighbour, in her 80s, is doing just that, so that her executors (of which I am one), have less to do. Every so often she pulls me in to admire the latest drawers she has cleared out and organised, and she takes so much pleasure from it. I'm quite envious.
I am also deeply envious of your neighbour! I think they call this 'death cleaning' and I'm VERY into the idea. My Rotter has come to encapsulate our differences by saying "I don't like being comfortable, so I don't like your cushions". At which I go and buy more cushions. I often wonder whether we just lean in to others' caricatures of ourselves!
I use Strulch and love it. Agree that the slugs hate it. I’m a not much stuff person, I have to have a clear out when the anxiety builds too much. With a 91 year old very frail parent, I look on in despair as I don’t feel I’ll have the emotional resilience to deal with it. I suppose that’s where house clearance firms come in but I find that unbearably moving.
Agree. It's a problem of our age and I like you feel overwhelmed with the prospect of dealing with ALL of it (not just the physical stuff). It does make me think hard about drilling down into why I want new things, and whether I could make do with not!
Strulch every time. Cheaper than the Magic Mulch (though not as cheap as chips) as with an inherent slug deterrent which definitely helps. Looks pretty unattractive when you first spread it but turns earthy brown quite quickly.
This is EXCELLENT advice. I have a LOT of slugs - thank you!
I’m extremely attached to my stuff, but finding out about 5 years ago that my kids will not be giving me grandkids (🥺), has changed my perspective on the future of the things I own. There will not be an endless line of descendants to bestow my collections and mementos on. Sad, but also freeing.
Gosh I hadn't considered the idea of never being a grandparent. I suppose as parents we just assume, don't we. I'm sorry. I suppose if I find myself in your situation I would be eyeing up other people's grandchildren and showering them with gifts!
Strulch is definitely my go to mulch , I share a pallet of the large bags with a friend , I just top it up the second year. I’m starting one room at a time clear out this autumn/winter Noth sons left home and have left all their ‘stuff’ !! Oh hang onto mum I’ve not enough room for it …. X
Tough! Neither have I! lol!
And thank you for advice re strulch...I'll add it to the list x
I am very much a person of stuff. I love it and hate it in equal measure. I love the fact that when I get an idea to create something I can usually guarantee I have the required paint/tools/fabric... to complete the task. However, that does mean for a lot of the time I have all this "stuff" taking up space without good reason. It does worry me that I will have to start addressing all this stuff before to long.
Always get my mulch from Apsley Farms, partly because it is reasonably local, partly they sell it in those huge hippo type bags and also because it's very good.
I use Lakeland Gold by Dalesfoot, but probably because my local supplier of such things stocks it, and they deliver for free to my allotment as long as I meet them at the gate. It’s good mulch.