Tax Avoidance

Things I've been picking, cooking and stitching

…while not doing my tax return.

If you ever want anything extremely random or time-consuming done, ask me to do it in June, when my tax return avoidance scheme is at fever pitch. I will do literally anything except the tax return. I will even do other utterly tiresome things, like cleaning my email inbox, or making dentist appointments, or finding the lids to all the plastic food containers.

Tax return is the thing I MOST loathe. Yes I am aware that it doesn’t have to be filed until January, but knowing I have to do it is such an absolute killjoy that a few years ago I decided to do it in April, because then it’s hanging over me for the least amount of time.

Of course, April would be optimal, but my brain won’t let me be that efficient…I have to agonise. If there’s no agony then are you even alive? So typically I play host to the irritation throughout April, and the irritation becomes doom-laden listlessness during May, until by the end of May the proper agony has set in. So it’s always the beginning of June when I am at my busiest doing displacement activities:

Feeding the teen who is on study leave at home…therefore requiring LUNCH (ugh). Also she is at home so I can’t watch Real Housewives; I have to look busy, so this week I’ve cooked far more ‘from scratch’ than usual, including:

Ottolenghi beans of joy

• Slow-cooked leg of lamb with harissa from Rukmini’s iconic Roasting Tin book

• Summery fattoush and an absolutely banging meatloaf from Claire Thompson’s 5 O’clock Apron

• Macaroni Cheese in nice brown ramekins. I only own nice brown ramekins because of Sainsbury’s who put their rather delicious cheesy rarebit thing in them.

• Actually very delicious fajita-style minced beef using Old El Paso seasoning mix packet. I’ve been eating this regularly for lunch with salad or in a wrap and it’s rapidly usurping my buttery scrambled egg usual. It has a lot more protein in it (I am boringly obsessed with eating enough protein ever since I discovered- embarrassingly recently - that 100g of, say, steak does not, in fact, equal 100g of protein…yes I am rather slow). Anyway, this flavoured ground beef is very high in said protein and can be eaten as is, or cooked without the extra stock and sprinkled liberally on salad, or hummus, or macaroni cheese as desired. I simply fry it so it’s almost burnt (not bouncy bits please) and add the entire packet at the end, and some beef stock to make it less dry.

• The salad dressing which went viral recently on Instagram which really does make ordinary iceberg lettuce taste amazing (but only if served immediately). You use the juice of a whole lemon, small amount of EVOO, lots of salt, crushed garlic clove, white wine vinegar and pepper and mix, mix, mix.

• This recipe for anointing a jar of butter beans with herby, lemony, spicy oil from my favourite OTK book, Shelf is honestly the most delicious thing I’ve eaten in ages. Unbelievably good. Make double.

• Vinegar chicken from Mark’s epic book Sour …As he so rightly says, this sauce would make your old leather boots taste fabulous. Dreamy.

Sewing a tiny dress with tiny stitches

Shell tucks, pin tucks, calico and red sylko thread

• This is very good procrastination fodder. I’m doing a Couture Hand Sewing course with the V&A. The lady who teaches it is called Rowena Luke-King and I LOVE her. She has a short fringe and dark red lipstick, and she is the most amazing teacher; so far I have learned how to do pin tucks and shell tucks, a french seam with microscopic little stitches, tailors tacks and proper basting. I think if I had my life again I’d probably go and be a seamstress at Dior, sewing all day long and becoming perfect at it. The course also has several ‘spotlight’ sessions where experts come and tell you about fascinating things, like how a Savile Row suit is made; did you know that there are tailors who only ever make trousers, or waistcoats, or pockets for their entire career? They become so fabulously brilliant at pockets that they never do anything else…A suit will go through many many different tailors who each specialise in one small part. How special and rare and wonderful! We have been treated to talks on Dior and Chanel, and on the history of couture, and on underpinnings. Heaven.

Deadheading and teasing out the flop

Meadow casualties with astrantia and alchemilla

• If you don’t already know, I have a mini-meadow and I love it HARD. I love it so much that I have completely neglected to chop it in time, and now it is falling over (mixture of rain and cats and the fact that some things, like the ox-eye daisies are just so tall). Next year I will be Chelsea chopping it, probably earlier than May, so that it doesn’t reach such dizzy heights and fall over. The idea is that you give it a peremptory chop in spring, and then chop the whole thing down in July. I’m not at all sure I could bear to do that, as the late summer meadow looking lush is such a joy. Perhaps late August? I’m thinking aloud here…any meadow aficionados out there? I would love your thoughts. So I’ve been going in for five minutes every time I see a daisy flopping, (and every time the thought of the tax return enters my mind).

• I’ve also been deadheading the roses, and cautiously pulling out any some herb robert. This is a very welcome guest in the garden, as it fills empty spaces and is easy to pull out when it’s no longer needed. There are many other ‘weeds’ that I wouldn’t be without in the garden and I’ll be writing about them on Scribehound Gardening at some point. Do come and join us there if you can - it’s a really rich mix of all things garden, plant and nature.

Enough. I’m so utterly sick of GCSEs and I’m not even the one taking them. I will be back soon with more unimportant things. Please do leave me a ‘heart’ if you liked this?

x Laetitia