When I’m in charge of my granddaughter, her parents complain I don’t send enough updates, but I’m WITH her! We’re interacting pretty constantly, nose to nose, and I don’t have time to take out my phone to take pictures. But unfortunately she’s the only person I really engage with in this way, I normally have my phone with me in company.
I’m the not-huggy person, my daughter is very huggy, which is frustrating for her. When my sister and I stay at each other’s houses, we make a point of emptying the dishwasher, and bringing each other cups of tea and coffee in bed in the morning.
I'm increasingly, exponentially, frustrated at the moments I spend with the phone, even though/perhaps because I'm way less than once I was. I limit myself to 10 mins morning and evening with Instagram (a worky obligation), a few minutes wordle, and have no alerts for anything other than texts from close family, and the more I limit the more I feel released...I think most powerfully from the illusion that this glass hamster is going to give me Charlie Bucket's golden ticket. It is as you say, a stealer of conversations and intimacies. Thank you too - always a pleasure to read your words, never mind pop up in them x
I, too, have one enormously huggy child. As a tactile person, this fills me with delight and feeds my soul.
Interestingly, as much as I agree that phones are a pernicious evil, part of my love language with the other is sending each other videos we will both like eg people interpreting Olivia Dean’s music (even on the bagpipes!), how to speak French like a native, snippets of Only Murders in the Building!!
Sex is supposed to be the stuff of love if you believe the media. But hugs are IT.
Have you noticed that on said media people close their eyes if it's a real hug, but not if not. Is this true? (There's no way of checking if you are being hugged)
This all definitely rings true Laetitia. I used to scoff at the idea I was addicted but over the last few weeks I’ll pick it up and think I’ve read everything on Substack and IG, but I still pick the wretched thing up. Our brains won’t be capable of independent thought the way we’re going. Anyway, Happy Easter! Sending you a virtual hug. 🤗
I’m re watching the OC with my daughter, I watched it first time round with my sons when they were teenagers, it doesn’t seem that long ago. I really noticed the huge difference though, a few characters have flip phones, which they use as phones! No texting, no selfies, no Instagram or TikToc, and although it’s a drama, with rather far fetched and unrealistic storylines, it still seems healthier for those teenagers than for many young people today.
Love huggy children, they are always rewarding. xxx
My phone was stolen a month ago in Venice and I chose not to replace it until we were back in the UK. It’s been a very powerful lesson on how much I use the phone, and how much technology takes it for granted that you have access to a phone. Tomorrow the new phone arrives and I shall be very happy but I’m going to try to use it less.
When I’m in charge of my granddaughter, her parents complain I don’t send enough updates, but I’m WITH her! We’re interacting pretty constantly, nose to nose, and I don’t have time to take out my phone to take pictures. But unfortunately she’s the only person I really engage with in this way, I normally have my phone with me in company.
I’m the not-huggy person, my daughter is very huggy, which is frustrating for her. When my sister and I stay at each other’s houses, we make a point of emptying the dishwasher, and bringing each other cups of tea and coffee in bed in the morning.
I like this tea in bed thing. 🩷
I'm increasingly, exponentially, frustrated at the moments I spend with the phone, even though/perhaps because I'm way less than once I was. I limit myself to 10 mins morning and evening with Instagram (a worky obligation), a few minutes wordle, and have no alerts for anything other than texts from close family, and the more I limit the more I feel released...I think most powerfully from the illusion that this glass hamster is going to give me Charlie Bucket's golden ticket. It is as you say, a stealer of conversations and intimacies. Thank you too - always a pleasure to read your words, never mind pop up in them x
10 mins either end of the day is a good goal. Tempted to say I’ve been #influenced 💚
🏆
I, too, have one enormously huggy child. As a tactile person, this fills me with delight and feeds my soul.
Interestingly, as much as I agree that phones are a pernicious evil, part of my love language with the other is sending each other videos we will both like eg people interpreting Olivia Dean’s music (even on the bagpipes!), how to speak French like a native, snippets of Only Murders in the Building!!
Xx
Love it! I will often send my un-huggy teen memes about un-huggy teens which she studiously ignores!
Sex is supposed to be the stuff of love if you believe the media. But hugs are IT.
Have you noticed that on said media people close their eyes if it's a real hug, but not if not. Is this true? (There's no way of checking if you are being hugged)
Very true!
I’ve never thought of that but it’s so true!
This all definitely rings true Laetitia. I used to scoff at the idea I was addicted but over the last few weeks I’ll pick it up and think I’ve read everything on Substack and IG, but I still pick the wretched thing up. Our brains won’t be capable of independent thought the way we’re going. Anyway, Happy Easter! Sending you a virtual hug. 🤗
Thank you lovely Moira and yes I think we have to fight to stay away from the damn things!
Excellent. Yes I regularly regret the deep meaningful conversations I didn’t have. And now it’s too late. Why do we only realise this in retrospect?
Because we are human x
I’m re watching the OC with my daughter, I watched it first time round with my sons when they were teenagers, it doesn’t seem that long ago. I really noticed the huge difference though, a few characters have flip phones, which they use as phones! No texting, no selfies, no Instagram or TikToc, and although it’s a drama, with rather far fetched and unrealistic storylines, it still seems healthier for those teenagers than for many young people today.
Love huggy children, they are always rewarding. xxx
Agree I often cry when I see old footage of rock concerts or festivals from the before times 🙁
My phone was stolen a month ago in Venice and I chose not to replace it until we were back in the UK. It’s been a very powerful lesson on how much I use the phone, and how much technology takes it for granted that you have access to a phone. Tomorrow the new phone arrives and I shall be very happy but I’m going to try to use it less.